dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How naked do you want me to be?
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