wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
