I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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