I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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