yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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