You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She's the barista slut.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
