You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
