OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
