This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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