She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
