My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
