Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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