there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
