I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
