He uses pillows to masturbate.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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