no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
