I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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