I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Randomize
