Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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