I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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