If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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