the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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