Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
