That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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