the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hippo gnu deer
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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