I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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