i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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