Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I wear drunk well.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
