FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
