Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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