So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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