you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
