Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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