If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
