i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I want her autograph on my taint
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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