Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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