i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
