plz talk dirty to me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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