When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
