You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
