I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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