Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
In America we eat man semen.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
