He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
