what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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