Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Acid is not a monday night drug
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
