Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
