then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
