We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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