Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am spending my child support on dildos
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Randomize
