I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
