What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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