I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
