you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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