yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
