Where is the hickey?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
