Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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