I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
